Sunday, July 8, 2012

Teens

Hello out there! Didn't realize how long it has been since I blogged? Haven't thought much about blogging since my last post....until recently when so many words and thoughts have been swirling around in my head...and I realized that I write these thoughts down more for myself than my readers and I need to blog!  So many things happening...you better sit down and grab some coffee....

I'm enduring deployment no. 2.  Not fun single parenting teenagers...I've learned alot about myself and my teens.  Number 1...just because you raise them right and talk to them endlessly, doesn't mean their always gonna make the right choices...they do need accountability and supervision...even the "good" kids.  Sometimes, I think because they are older they don't need me as much....quite wrong...they need me MORE!  I keep thinking of that verse in the Bible, "A child left to himself, bringeth his mother to shame."  I need to pay attention to the influences around them...someone or something 24/7 is having an influence on them; their music, their friends, their books, the tv, my friends, their coaches, teachers, ect.  See what I mean? 

Number 2 Teens need EXTRA love and positive encouragement.  In a world that condems you for what your wear, where you live, how you act, ect. It's important for me to encourage them in a positive way to be true to themselves, and not let people dictate who they are.  Instead of critising what they aren't doing, they need verbal appreciation for what they are doing. You want them to talk to you about the big stuff? Then talk and laugh with them about the little stuff...the stuff that is important to them! Those that rule with an iron fist and constant condemnation never amounted to anything. Fear will keep a person from moving forward and producing good fruit.  Rule with love, kindness, forgiveness, long-suffering, and gentleness...and you will win their heart and see them thrive and be happy in life.  I've read these similar words many times, but I see in my teens that it is so true. 

Can I expect my teen to wake up in a good mood and love life when I wake him up barking orders about cleaning his room, open the window cuz your room smells, you got five minutes to get to the table for breakfast so we can have our devotions and start school! wow! Even if I was a morning person...that would've have totally ruined my day.  What is this a concentration camp?  How about Good Morning?????   I'm NOT a morning person, but I'm working on waking up more cheerfully and starting my day with greetings, smiles and music....yes I really do put in music...it brings a cheerful mood to the house in the morning and everyone is hopeful for a good day! More is caught then taught.....if mom has a smile and a joyful spirit, chances are so will your kids. If you complain, expect your kids to complain...if you whine expect your kids to whine...if you see your life dark and depressing, so do your kids. 

I did not intend one bit to write a whole paper on teens....I was going to update you on all the happenings here in Germany...I guess I will save that for next time.

Aubrey xo

41 comments:

Loree said...

Great post Aubrey. Dreading the teenage years but I have a few more years before they're here.

HOPE said...

You are RIGHT on with this..as I see the difference in your childreen! They are GREAT kids...how I love them..not just because they are mine..but they really are!

LOVING YOU ALL...

Jessica said...

Where has the time gone? It has been forever since I have talked to you. I am so thankful that my children will never be teenagers because they are going to stay little forever lol. Wishful thinking I guess. I pray all is well for you all there and that Michael is doing well. My blog has gotten away from me as well. I am 17 wks pregnant now with baby #6 and have just started to feel a little better and start doing things again. Hoping to talk to you soon, take care.

LeAnn said...

Love your take on raising teens! I am not in the teen stage yet, 2 1/2 short years to go. Still, I am already noticing differences here in this tween stage. I have loved the book "Love and Logic", it fits right in with what you wrote in so many ways. Hugs to you, I can only imagine how hard it is to do this all on your own and how much you miss M being there to back you up and say some of the "no's" and just be the day in and day out man figure.
Thanks again for the great Sunday talk, it was so special in so very many ways.Your the best! Love to you!

A said...

You must be such a great mom Aubrey.
I didn't know what to do with myself when I was a teenager, it was such a confusing transformation. In hind sight, I must have been unbearable.

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