Once upon a time...

A thought to share with you ...something that has stuck with me all day today .....and maybe you are going through something and you need to hear it too.

Every person has a name....and every name as a story. A story that doesn't end until your time on earth as ended.   What is your story?  If I read your story would I weep, would I laugh, smile, would I get angry,  would I be inspired, encouraged, would I read it again, would I want to share it?

Nobody wants to read a perfect story...do you? A perfect story would be boring!  We watch movies and read books about superheroes who save the day, tragedy and triumph, victory overcoming evil, death and despair, joy and new life.  These are the things that make for great story!

The question is....who is the author of your story?  If we were to write our own story, perhaps it would be a little too perfect, a little too nice....ya know, the perfect house, perfect kids, perfect vacations, perfect husband, perfect neighbor....boring huh?

When God is the author we're sure to have a story worth reading and telling others about! Haven't you ever read the Bible?  How He parted the Red Sea for Moses so they could escape those bad guys the Egyptians, or Jonah getting swallowed by a whale and surviving for three days, the flood, or how He fed the Isrealites in the wilderness for 40 days....many stories that would take pages to fill. Exciting, thrilling, and inspiring!! 

God has a story for each of us...its unique in that it is YOURS, no else has the same story, no remake, or recopy of an original....it's all yours!  He desires to write your story in a way that will change, inspire, encourage, motivate, and bless all those who read it.  He wishes to write a story of joy, victory, triumph, and courage...but these characteristics cannot exist without some dark valleys, trials, temptations, heartaches, disappointments, and strife.

As I look back on some dark valleys in my past, I am reminded even most recently how God is constantly using my story to bring others to Him or to bring hope and joy to someone who is now going through the same thing.  Every story has a purpose...and a purpose He intends to fulfill if we let Him write it.





Aubrey xo

Teens

Hello out there! Didn't realize how long it has been since I blogged? Haven't thought much about blogging since my last post....until recently when so many words and thoughts have been swirling around in my head...and I realized that I write these thoughts down more for myself than my readers and I need to blog!  So many things happening...you better sit down and grab some coffee....

I'm enduring deployment no. 2.  Not fun single parenting teenagers...I've learned alot about myself and my teens.  Number 1...just because you raise them right and talk to them endlessly, doesn't mean their always gonna make the right choices...they do need accountability and supervision...even the "good" kids.  Sometimes, I think because they are older they don't need me as much....quite wrong...they need me MORE!  I keep thinking of that verse in the Bible, "A child left to himself, bringeth his mother to shame."  I need to pay attention to the influences around them...someone or something 24/7 is having an influence on them; their music, their friends, their books, the tv, my friends, their coaches, teachers, ect.  See what I mean? 

Number 2 Teens need EXTRA love and positive encouragement.  In a world that condems you for what your wear, where you live, how you act, ect. It's important for me to encourage them in a positive way to be true to themselves, and not let people dictate who they are.  Instead of critising what they aren't doing, they need verbal appreciation for what they are doing. You want them to talk to you about the big stuff? Then talk and laugh with them about the little stuff...the stuff that is important to them! Those that rule with an iron fist and constant condemnation never amounted to anything. Fear will keep a person from moving forward and producing good fruit.  Rule with love, kindness, forgiveness, long-suffering, and gentleness...and you will win their heart and see them thrive and be happy in life.  I've read these similar words many times, but I see in my teens that it is so true. 

Can I expect my teen to wake up in a good mood and love life when I wake him up barking orders about cleaning his room, open the window cuz your room smells, you got five minutes to get to the table for breakfast so we can have our devotions and start school! wow! Even if I was a morning person...that would've have totally ruined my day.  What is this a concentration camp?  How about Good Morning?????   I'm NOT a morning person, but I'm working on waking up more cheerfully and starting my day with greetings, smiles and music....yes I really do put in music...it brings a cheerful mood to the house in the morning and everyone is hopeful for a good day! More is caught then taught.....if mom has a smile and a joyful spirit, chances are so will your kids. If you complain, expect your kids to complain...if you whine expect your kids to whine...if you see your life dark and depressing, so do your kids. 

I did not intend one bit to write a whole paper on teens....I was going to update you on all the happenings here in Germany...I guess I will save that for next time.

Aubrey xo

Listen and learn

 

The movers came to scope out the house today..taking inventory of all that must make the big move to Germany.  It’s really happening…we’re really moving to another continent….I wonder what it will feel like …how far will America feel to me? How far away will everyone feel to me? 

I always knew my husband and I would never settle down in a certain place for good….at least not yet, even before the Army.  But I never dreamed we would be moving to Europe.  It’s true that every road as a bend in it…as Marilla Cuthbert said to Anne Shirley.  And you never know where that bend is going to take you!

 

 I embrace each adventure, a new home, a new friend as a chance to learn something new and grow a little more wiser and get a little more stronger. 

This also happens to be what comes about in our marriage…at least what we’ve experienced…truly every move, every obstacle, and every adventure silly, sad, good, or bad…has brought us closer together.  I love the familiarity that we share, that when we go through things we are so open and transparent about our feelings.  Because of this, we feel and know when we need to be encouraging, when to be silent, and when we just need to hold each other to cry or to dream.  I’ve learned a great deal about LISTENING…..sometimes we just need to listen and read the body language….men aren’t so forthcoming in sharing their feelings or opinions….but by listening when they do speak and understanding when they need space, when they need a hug, or when they simply need to know you trust them, I think they become stronger and encouraged and more readily to share the journey of the adventure with you.

I’m working hard at just listening this week…getting a feel of how my husband and children are handling the move with all the running around, the appointments, the cleaning out rooms, getting rid of things we don’t need, making decisions, the sleeplessness, the fears, and excitements.  It’s amazing when you just slow down and listen to all the noise and chatter around you what you pick up!

 Before you can treat an illness, you have to diagnosis it, before you can pass an exam you have to study, before you bake a cake you have to read the recipe, before you can play the piano, you have to learn the notes……….before you can advise or help encourage your husband, friends, or children…..you have to listen first!!!

I want to be sensitive to their feelings and to the needs at present…rather than assume and find out the hard way that my assumptions of their feelings or actions were false.

Jesus also tells us to “Be still and know that I am God.”  How can we see God work, feel the comfort of His presence, feel the inner peace in the midst of chaos, if we won’t be still and listen first.

 

So here’s to listening and learning….

aubrey xo

 

Wild flowers in the valley

A few days ago the girls and I went foraging for herbs to dry for tea! I know it’s been awhile since I last posted a holistic remedy, I promise one to come …my husband’s parents are visiting right now, so it will have to wait this time.  I will tell you it has to do with Stinging Nettle! Ouch! It does make a wonderful, healthy tea. :) We found lots and lots of it by the lake we’ve been hanging out at on the weekends.

The last month has been pretty stressful and at times discouraging…I am a cup-half-full kinda gal…I don’t like to dwell on the negatives or imagine a worst case scenario….I try to find something good in everything….and everyone…I look for the sun to shine everyday, rain is a welcoming change with an excuse to lose myself in a good book, I don’t sweat the small stuff…it always does work out…and I find that in almost everything you really can give thanks!! But~ that was all truly tested this last month…the real me anyway…was I still the opimistic, full of faith and hope, never doubting ect ect…..Oh and I should mention that I don’t give up very easily….but maybe that is a blessing in circumstances where your faith and determination to succeed is tested.  EVERY time I am again reminded that God is GOOD all the time…..His way is perfect…we don’t have all the answers….I may never find the answer to the question WHY????  But the ONE in control knows and that’s all that matters.  This is faith…letting go and letting whatever happens happen….just the way God intended it. Don’t fight it….If I choose to fight it..then I truly have not given my circumstances to God now have I?   

One thing I know when you’re in the valley of discouragement, the devil will try to get you to doubt God…to doubt His will, His plan, His ability to answer prayers, His ability to keep His promises.   So how does one climb out? Sing! Singing praises to Him invokes a spirit of faith and gratitude…faith, because you’re singing to the One you have placed that hope in to get your through this based on the promises in His Word, and gratitude for all the things He’s done for you.  So sing…    Help another soul-encourage someone else…..because many times in our valley of discouragement we are consumed with OUR problems, Our needs, and Our wants…..but when we are helping or serving another or encouraging another, our eyes are no longer on US, and there is joy in helping someone else…and don’t we need joy in the valley of discouragement?  Pray! Pray through the fog, pray when you feel a wall, pray even through the doubt…God does hear….He is answering! Read His promises over and over…and claim them, believe them, and hope in them!!

And for something extra and sweet….pick flowers! :)   I find comfort many times in being outdoors …in the woods…or by a lake…it’s peaceful.  I needed a sanctuary and the girls and I went to pick flowers!

We picked lots and lots of wild flowers to decorate around the house.  I love fresh flowers on the table, don’t you? You can see Genevieve running around with her flower basket! :)

And sometimes we wear them! :)

Have a wonderful week dear friends….I think of you often and pray for you!

Aubrey xo

Are we there yet???

Geez Louise!!!

I'm soooo tired....and we haven't even started moving!

Acchhhh...what did we get ourselves into...maybe we should just cancel
and move ourselves to Washington!!

So depressed yesterday thinking of how far away we're going to be

,I'll miss my baby nephews growing up,
and my sissie....I won't see her for awhile...I checked tickets and

it would cost about 1500 dollars for ONE ticket to Germany!

Three years suddenly seems like an eternity.

Then last night my friend sarah came over to sell scensy at my party, I picked up a canister of Luna...I got a huge lump in my throat...it happened to be the exact scent my sissie was burning in her housewhile I visited last month. oh what a mess!

So guess what scent I'm getting...sigh

We had to take an anti-terrorism class today...If they were trying to talk us out of going or scare usit almost worked.

Basically don't tell anyone you're in the army,

that you're American

and don't travel in a large group.

Well the hubby's and sons buzz cuts might give that away,

the fact that we have an american southern accent

and we have a big family...

I guess we're a moving target!

We have been in appts and overseas briefings all week,

more to come next week,

And this morning I came to a decision,

I withdrew from my classes this semester, it's too much,

there's no way I can focus on school and devote myself to all

the reading and assignments required of me each week.

So I will resume class in the Fall.

I need a break, my eyes and head hurt.

All in all I have faith that everything will work out,

according to His plan, not mine,

and all is not lost if it is to perform His work and will,

although, I'm overwhelmed, confused and anxious....it's His timing

and His plan that I must seek after!

So I take this day by day, and only focus and

worry about what I can accomplish today!

Piggybackin' my sissie and my cousin

Aubrey

xo

Happy Mother's Day

A Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies and fill-in mommies!!!

A very special tribute to my mother...I wish I could've been there to celebrate this day with her. :( There are some people in your life that hallmark can't even put poetry to...there just isnt enough words or space to say all you want to...that's how I felt shopping for this mother's day card.







Every once in awhile you pen the exact words you want to tell the person and at other times words seem to fail you because what you're feeling inside is so much bigger than what you want to say!!







I wrote my mother a letter years ago when my kids were toddlers that said something like....thank you for reading me a book when you were too tired from running after us all day, thank you for all things you bought us when you needed a new pair of shoes, thank you taking us to the park when you needed a nap ......







and something to the affect that I could've filled a swimming pool with as many cups of water as I had handed out that day.....I remember I was feeling overwhelmed that day, exhausted, wondering if I really "knew what caused it" having had 4 kids under the age of 4, and finally realizing what my poor mother went through with five of us. I'm kinda shocked I didn't get birth control instead of flowers from her at the hospital with my first one! ;) Anyway, I was compelled to sit that day and write her a letter to let her know that I NOW understood the sacrifices and the love she had for us growing up.







I am greatly indebted to my mother....Ihope she knows how much she is loved, needed, and appreciated!!


Aubrey xo

Afganistan...long post

Since the time my husband deployed to Afganistan, I've had an interest in learning about this country, people, the culture, ect. My husband is really good about giving me detailed visuals of what it is like, the conversations he's held with the people, and as best he can, what their culture is like.


In my own research, I found that there are over 500,000 widows in Afganistan. Most people may not realize that the terrorists who terrorized America on September 11 were mostly from Saudi Arabia and other third world countries....Afganistan unfortunately happens to be the place where the terrorists training camps are.









The widows blame the taliban...they are sorrowful over what happened in America as they are in their own country. I watched a documentary of two widows from 9/11 who both lost their husbands, and had children at home. They received much compensation for their lost, however the widows in Afganistan recieved nothing. They went from living off of 46.00 a month to 16.00 a month. In fact, many have lost their children to starvation. The women aren't given the opportunity to be independent and provide for themselves, however, now there are foundations and groups that are enabling these widows to bring in some money by raising chickens and selling their eggs or chicks, in order that they might feed their children and send them to school.



When the widows were asked why they wouldnt remarry as their life would be easier, they said no, they cannot keep their children and marry again. In their culture, you start over, you would have to disown your church to marry again. The rest of their life will be spent trying to survive.



Nothing in all the reading of this country and it's people touched me as the story of the widows. If you would like to watch the documentary yourself, you can watch it instant play on Netflix.It is a documentary called Beyond Belief.


Want to learn more about Afganistan? Check out these books:

• Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson


• A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini


• The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad
  
• The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
• I Dared to Call Him Father: The True Story of a Woman's Encounter with God by Bilquis Sheikh

These are just a few.....I have a lot of reading to do :)

With my husband in Afanistan who sees these women often and speaks with the children, it kinda hits a little close to home for me, although I've not been there. I would love to see Afganistan for myself and go to these widows homes to see firsthand what life is like.

Till then, I am currently working on doing a fundraiser through the foundation for the widows in Afganistan. I am an avid hiker...I recently set goals to hike the highest peaks wherever we live or close to home, except Nepal and Tibet aka Mt Everest ;) Recently did the highest peak in the Adirondacks and wishing I had known about this organization then. :( So my goal is to organize a fundraiser with the help of Beyond the 11th. You may not have the ability to hold fundraisers ect, but you can also donate at Beyond the 11th as well. I also am hoping to hold a seminar on post in the spring educating people especially women and army wives to support this foundation and their cause (to help and empower the widows in Afganistan). I hope and pray to also use this opportunity as a way to reach this women for Christ. There is a HOPE that is available to them and they have a right to know!

No matter how different I may think people are in other countries, I know that these women are still women, mothers, wives, and sisters. They care about their children's education and nutrition same as I do, they care about where their children are going to sleep, orlive, except they don't have the same liberties and privileges that I have here...I don't take this for granted. I am extremely humbled, and so very thankful that I have the freedom and means to educate my children, and I have provisions to make sure my children are fed and have a roof over their head. I could not imagine being a mother and not being able to provide these essentials for them. I spend nearly 24 hours of my day caring for my children. I can't imagine what life must be like for these widows who are mothers.

I would love to hear what you think, if you watched the video, or read any of these books.....

Thanks for reading~ Aubrey

My little men

My little men....I feel so blessed to have these two guys in my life. In a few months I will have two teenagers (they are 13 months apart) and I can honestly say that they bring great joy to me. They have such good attitudes and carry a positive outlook on life. They help me out so much, I rarely have to ask ...they have really helped to lessen the load of caring for so much with their dad away. He would be very proud of them.

I'm bragging on them because the past year their dad has been gone, they have had to take on extra responsibility and they haven't complained one time!! They take each day as it comes happy and cheerful.....and I marvel that teens CAN actually be happy and helpful afterall :P
Ive felt bad for having to ask so much of them...they are just willing and obedient and do it!!!



They are dressed for church in the pic above...they sang with their little sisters that night. It was funny because we had practiced a song that week just in case they are ever asked. I told them they should always be ready as the Lord may call on them to share His Word in song...well, there was no special singing that evening, so the song leader asked if the kids could sing.....wished you could've seen their faces!!! (mom is right once in awhile)

I'm praying they keep their sweet spirit of joy and happiness as they continue grow in their teen years! I plan to have lots of fun with my teens!!

Aubrey

A time to think and be still

Finally....I have a few minutes to myself tonight. Company gone, children snug in their beds...the dishwasher running...and I'm drinking peppermint tea.



The last month I think I've had company over every night/day. I love hosting people and sharing my world with others....it's been especially comforting to me with my hubby gone. However, the rushing, preparing, caring for others, running around grabbing this and that and always on the go, as pretty much exhausted me and I found myself longing for solitude and a few moments to discover self...and her thoughts. I needed to just "be still" tonight...and ponder life and where it is going and organize the chaos in my brain.



I've been guilty of using of using things and people to fill the void I've felt with my soldier being gone. I just didn't want to think, feel, focus.....I just wanted life to blur a little and then BAM...he would be home!



I felt the presence of the Lord Sunday evening....I felt rejuvenated in my soul and spirit and it has deeply embolded me to take some steps back and focus on what is most important in my world....and to work on some things that needed to be sharpened and tuned.



As hard as it is sometimes....it's needful to "examine ourselves" and see where we stand with God, with our family, with ourselves. The distractions are out there...taking us in a million different directions and before we know it we've lost sight of what we're supposed to be doing and what our real purpose is.



I have a tendency to want to patch up things myself, make things happen my way, have a hurry up and wait perspective.....instead of waiting on God. Yesterday amid my quiet moments I realized that I truly needed to exercise my faith in God and let Him handle the "what-if's", the worries, the fears....all these "things" will hold me back from truly living joyfully.



I found myself singing this song today:

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

Funny how God puts a verse or tune in your head that speaks to you exactly what you need to hear at the time you need it!

Aubrey xo

Friends

Okay...{I'm in a slump right now...I don't want to talk...I don't want to see people}. There's always expectations when, you know, when you're around people. You smile and laugh when there's no feeling there, but that's what you do. I'm really not being rude...that's not me. I think it's pure exhaustion, lack of sleep, finals in two classes due in less than four weeks, holidays coming up and feeling like you're being pulled in a million different directions.

I'm realizing when you put yourself out there to volunteer ect, you inherit a ton of responsibility. I'm not so good at saying NO...I will have a gajillion things to do on my plate and I will say YES! Because I just want people to know I care...and I'm one of those people they can rely on and will help them if they need it.

Recently though, there is this "friend" who ONLY calls, talks, drops by ect...when they need me to run them around town, babysit, borrow, ect. I get chills now when I see the number pop up on caller ID...this literal sense of dread comes over me, because I'm worried what they'll ask me to do now. This is so not me...to be like this...I LOVE helping people, in fact, I usually volunteer myself to do just about anything is I feel there is a need somewhere, and I'm disappointed when I can't help someone. So this scenario is something out of the ordinary and I'm not so sure how to deal with it or the person.

I recently removed about 200 people from my facebook! I was going to delete my account and realized that their are people on my friend's list I truly care about and want to stay in touch with them. When you've moved around the country as much as we have, it's hard to stay in touch with those kindred spirits you've met in your journeys. These are people I KNOW I will carry with me throughout my life, no matter where I go. They are special and they impacted my life somehow someway...maybe even changed your life. Do you have people in your life like that??? You don't forget them. And perhaps I should make sure I tell them how special they are!

So back to deleting friends...I really only removed any negative energy that continually surfaced on my page. And then there is this one-sided friendship phenomenon, where YOU are the one who makes all the phone calls, emails, texts, comments, ect. Basically, they wouldn't even exist in your life if you didn't like to keep tabs on them so much. I have someone very dear to me, that recently in the last two years ceases to exist unless I call, write, ect. I don't understand. Do friends "break-up"? Shouldn't they let you know first ...maybe send a dear jon letter to you? Just wondering....how is it a friendship if it's only ever one-sided. What do you think?

I like to think of frienship as peaceful, harmonious, joy, happiness, sharing, loving, and caring. If your mood cannot form these expressions or thoughts when you think of a person, why waste your time, why struggle in that relationship, it's not meant to be, it drags you down, it causes stress, it's not good for your body mentally, spiritually, or physically.

"Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." Proverbs 22:24 KJV

I've learned that surrounding yourself with people who love and live freely, make the sun shine brighter, the trials easier to bear, and the joys more abundant! I hope my friends can say I'm a true friend, and I hope more importantly they know I really care about them and I will always wish love, peace, and joy in their life.

"A friend loveth at all times..." Proverbs 17:17 kjv

Goodnight~ Aubrey

Renewing my soul

Sometimes its okay to embrace our imperfections, be content, and move on.....then sometimes the Still Small Voice is prodding and pushing the thoughts forward faster than I can distract them....at which point I need to surrender and listen....not without a fight of course, cuz that's just the flesh....I'm scared because I might not like what I see. The ugliness and dirt is rearing it's head and I don't like it one little bit.


These "imperfections" are not ones to embrace or love...I need to cast them off and get out of the mire and muck weighing me down and get to higher ground! I have let them suck the life out of me...



"wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word." Psalm 119:9

"The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

He will not will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust."

Psalm 103:8-14

Leaving them behind is the beginning of the renewing of my mind, body and soul, and the reward of peace, happiness, and contentment.

A good weekend to you all~

Aubrey

Dear Diary....what I think about burning the Koran

There's probably a lot of crap in the media I would just ignore or read in passing with little interest, as this world is only a temporary home to me, however, being an army wife kinda changes your perspective on things. Especially, when your married to a soldier and he is very deep in politics himself.

Recently I was asked a few times what my oppinion is of the burning of the Koran.
This story in news recently caught my attention but it hits very close to home being that my husband is serving in Afganistan and is very often put in a hostile situation on many of his missions of late. I'm sure you've heard of the pastor in Gainsville, FL advertising freely of his intent on "burn the Koran day" on Sept 11, 2010. This is specifically intended to take place on the anniversary of Sept 11!

While I am grateful for the freedoms we have in this country, one of them being the Freedom of Speech, I as a Christian believe that while we may possess these liberties we're not to use them as a stumbling block to others. This one might has well be a concrete wall. God also says "Vengance is mine, I will replay, saith the Lord."

I believe this pastor is hypocritical to the highest decree in burning the Koran on Sept 11! He is putting the lives of my husband and fellow troops in danger over a book burning party. Obviously we know that the Sept 11 marks the anniversary of the tragic day our country was attacked by terrorists, many lives were lost and as a result of it, our troops are oversease fighting against these terrorists. So in this pastor's attempt to "show his liberty" or "get even" He is jepordizing the lives of the very people who are fighting for what happened on Sept 11. He is giving these terrorists another opportunity to attack us, our troops in particular. He is causing this country and the lives of another country more harm than good!!!

This is not a show of liberty or freedom of speech, this is a HATE crime. A real man of God is out to tell the people of God's love and forgiveness. The gospel of the TRUE Christ is that HE loved the world so much He died on the cross to save a world from sin, death, and Hell. Jesus never went around burning books, buildings, Pharisees robes, ect. He went around healing the sick, lame, restoring sight to the blind, and eating with sinners to tell them of His Love and their need of a Saviour.

Instead of burning religious books and sending a message of HATE, perhaps he should consider what the Scriptures say about sending messages. We're specifically given the commandment to "go out and preach the gospel"! That's the ONLY message we're commanded to go out and preach!

So you asked, and that's the humble opionion of an ARMY WIFE.

Dear diary...climbing higher

Did you know that an eagle knows when a
storm is approaching long before it breaks?


The eagle will fly to some high spot
and wait for the winds to come.

When the storm hits,it sets its wings
so that the wind will pick it up
and lift it above the storm.
While the storm rages below,
the eagle is soaring above it.


The eagle does not escape the storm.
It simply uses the storm to lift it higher.
It rises on the winds that bring the storm.


When the storms of life come upon us -
and all of us will experience them -
we can rise above them-
we can climb higher-
to the One who controls the winds and the rain!

I heard this message last week, right in the nick of time,
before a few storms hit. The flesh takes us right into
the fury of the storm, worrying, fretting, and focusing on
the circumstances around us. Yet God is begging us to
mount up with wings as eagles and climb higher, above the
storms of life.

When I climb higher,closer to Him, it's more peaceful, it's
suddenly clearer, I see things differently,
it's restful...and I'm not paying attention to the "howling
of the wind" or the "loud thundering".

"But they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and
not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31.

God brings storms in our life sometimes to get us to climb
a little higher...a little closer to Him. Sometimes we fly
too low in life, dwelling on all the circumstances and problems
in this life. The air is cleaner and less cluttered when we
start climbing up. When I climbed to the top of Mt Marcy a
week ago, I experienced this. It was so quiet up there you
could hear a pin drop...nothing.

Let the storms lift us higher...let them bring us closer
to LORD who controls the storms and let only HIM be our refuge
and our strength in life. There is rest and safety there.

Dear diary.....family pic

Well, it struck me this morning as I was reading blogs
that I rarely have pics taken of me with my kids,
BECAUSE I'm the one behind the lens. So I think
I will try the timer on my camera every month and
catch some family pics. I know this sounds morbid,
but with soldier gone, I'm more aware of how fragile
life is and how quickly time passes....if something
happened to me...what pics do my children have of
US doing all the wonderful adventures together?


You know how it is, hair has to be just right, makeup,
clothes matching, shoes....but it's not reality, least
not in my world...I'm lucky if I put mascara on, shave
both legs, and usually have my hair up...and not fashionably
I might add. The real me is who my children see
everyday...and maybe I should work on capturing that
image in photography!





Reminded me of how God sees us...He looks at our heart!
When I look in the mirror, I see flaws and imperfections
things I wish did not find gravity...things I wish stood
in one place...a wrinkle here...a blot there. I also see
how vain I can be...physically and materialistically.
Then I remember with great gratitude and joy that when my
Heavenly Father sees me...He sees the righteousness of His
Son...I am whole and perfect...He loves me just the way I
am!
Army Wife~

Dear Diary....

Today I finally heard from my soldier, early this morning
he called to tell me all this time he's been in the
hospital in Germany!!!!

No one called unfortunately...his white blood cell count
is really low and somewhere between leaving home and going
back to Afganistan he began swelling really bad from
head to toe and lesions broke out all over his body!!! I
don't know all the other symptoms, but it landed him in
the hospital for two days. They took a bunch of tests
including bloodwork and he will go back to the hospital
shortly.

I was just so thankful to hear his voice. Amazingly
enough after a rough week and then hearing this news, I
was okay, I could feel God's hand holding me up and I
knew that He had prepared my mind and spirit. I wasn't
upset...everyone was asking.

I just finished reading the book A Thousand Shall Fall by
Susi Mundy. What an awesome story and testament to God's
faithfulness. It is about a nazi soldier and his family who
go through 6 years of terror during WW2 and their faith and
hope in a God who sustained with food, clothing, protection,
and healing....all because of their simple faith and obedience
to do what they felt God wanted them to do. Something as simple
as keeping the sabbath. It was so incredible encouraging to me,
especially with my own husband being away at war. I bought it
off Amazon for a few bucks and it's so worth the read if you can get
this book. We picked it for our bookclub this month! I can't
wait to hear everyone's stories when we get together.

I'm trying to practice child-like faith. The faith that doesn't
ask questions, or tries to find reason or logic, but just
"enjoys the ride" and finds peace in just resting and patiently
enduring whatever God brings my way.

"He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed,
trusting in the Lord." Ps 112:7

If I'm worrying and looking at all the odds against me, I have
failed to see the greatness of God and have forgotten His
promises and His power.

Why are we so doubtful? We're so caught up on all our misgivings,
or guilt, poor self-image ect,and we forget that our righteousness
is in HIM....ONLY!

Not a shred of anything good in us can help us...it's all HIM and
He only asks that I ask in simple faith as a child and then trust
and leave it to HIM to take care of it. Of course HE knows
we're selfish, stubborn, wilful, ___________, but He still
desires our faith and trust in HIM...to have complete faith
and trust in HIM is to abandon all self with it's worries,
fear, and pity.

Dear Diary.....two weeks into deployment!

Wow! I'm not doing so hot with my diary here! But I've been kinda
moody since soldier has been gone. Some days I want to vent and talk
to people, and other days I just wanna crawl in a hole somewhere.

I'm doing better with not worrying about him. We've been doing
devotions out of I Samuel. Actually we're doing the whole book.

In the book of Samuel chapter 1, Hannah prayed at the temple
for a son, as she had not been able to have kids. She was so
upset about it that she refused to eat and was in
anxiety all the time. When she finally made her requests
to God, the Bible says that her countenance was no more sad!

She left her burden with the Lord and trusted
that whatever happened would be alright, because she was
leaving it all in the Lord's hands.

Anxiety, worry, fear, are
all characteristics of a child of God who is not
trusting or leaning on the Lord.

These emotions and feelings are a result of us trying to
fight control over a situation that most of the time we have
no control over anyway.

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee"
A simple verse I learned as a child...and still find myself
repeating this when I begin to feel fear!

Soldier was able to call last night! I feel so bad for them.
They have to stand in a long line to use the phone and sometimes
only get to talk for about 3 to 5 minutes, because so many
soldiers are waiting to talk to family.

Last night, he was able to use the phone for 20 minutes!
I started making a list of things I want to tell him when
he calls, because you just forget the moment they get on the
phone. Emotions kinda take over and it's easy to forget
what you've been wanting to say all day or week.

I'm thankful for my studies that are keeping my mind busy!
As of this week I'm still maintaining an A in all my classes!
Hope to continue this through the semester.

Tonight we are treating ourselves to some chocolate
covered strawberries and Mr. Bean (movie)!


Mr. Bean is a cleverly funny British Actor! They are hilarious
episodes with almost no dialoge at all! I have fond memories
of my sister and I with all the kiddos watching episodes of Mr. Bean
and hearing the kids shriek with hysterics.


Hoping for sweet dreams tonight~

ARMY WIFE

Thoughts and Photography

I was pondering this week my struggle with commitments. I've moved
almost an hour away from where we lived and were involved in different
activities and projects. I took some time this past week after
successfully unpacking every room in the house, to figure out
which activities and functions were important, and which ones
I could leave behind as memories of our days in Lewis county. Some
new opportunities will arise this new year as we settle in to our
new home on post, as well as opportunities in helping our troops
while they are away for a year.

Soldier and I decided a long time ago when our kids were little,
that we would not fill our evenings and weekends up with shuttling
kids back and forth from one activity to another, sports, ect.
While we wanted them to interact with other children, love sports,
music, art, ect., we didn't want them to lose sight of experiencing
the pleasures in simple things and a special closeness in bonding
with each other. We opted instead for activities we could do as
a family or with friends to share our experiences with. Thus we
began our adventures in hiking, camping, beach combing, ect.
Time was on our side, full of spontenaity, we took full advantage
of anything and everything life could bring our way. It would fill
the pages of a book to tell you all that we have enjoyed together
in our journeys and adventures in the last several years. I'm
thankful for them....the traveling that endeared us to siblings
far away and new friends who taught us new things, places people
read about in books, wildlife that took our breath away, mountains
we climbed, and even the journey through hard times that
brought us closer together. These I wouldn't trade for an all-star
player, ballet dancer, or karate kid. Yes, my kids have done
karate...I'm sure you get my point;)


I said all that to say, the freedom from commitments has more
than just allowed us new adventures and experiences, I firmly
believed it allowed room in our lives for God to step in and
change the wind so to speak. We don't want to be tied down
so tight to life, things, and people, that God can not
move us, work in us or through us.

So this week as I was thinking about what commitments I
was preparing to make, I knew that I needed to pray and
seek the Lord's will. Would there be liberty for God
to use me? Would I have time for God? Would there be
a window...a door...for God to step through and be in
every way part of our daily life?

I know the first commitment we must make as a family,
is to serve God first before we commit to any other
activities. The following commitments must not
interfere with my relationship with God, nor can
I let my life become too busy that I fail to miss
the still small voice of God calling me to do
some service or sacrifice for Him.

The commitments I do make, I pray with honor and glorify Him!

Blessings to you~Aubrey

Happy Thanksgiving

I really should be in bed now, since I must get up at 0'dark-thirty
to put the turkey in the oven! However, there's a fat chance I'll
get to touch my keyboard tomorrow so I wanted to wish everyone a
Happy Thanksgiving! May you feel blessed and thankful.

It would take a lifetime to sit and type all the things I'm so thankful
for and even still, if I had nothing, I still could say I'm thankful
the Lord saved me and He is here with me.

I'm thankful for all the things in my life that brought me where I
am today. God's way is the best way...He knoweth the way that I take...

I'm thankful for my husband who is so patient, loving, and supportive.

I'm thankful for four beautiful healthy children...

I'm thankful for the freedom to worship, pray, sing praises, have
devotions with my family, and homeschool my children.

I'm thankful for all the necessary provisions we take for granted...
my home, vehicle, three meals and day, clothes, and all the luxuries.

I'm thankful for all my friends who encourage me and love me.

I'm thankful for the privilege of having been brought up by Godly
parents who taught me about the Lord.

I'm thankful most of all to Jesus Christ for sending His own Son
to die for my sins...a free gift because of His great love!

These are things I'm most thankful for...I thank God everyday for
these things in my life as well. We are not promised another day,
another second. I cherish each day as a new opportunity to love more
and appreciate more.

I try to teach my children thankfulness everyday! A thankful
Christian is a happy Christian. A thankful person is humble,
loving, and possesses a servant's heart...and they never
complain. :)

Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!

More is caught than taught

Well, it is midnight here, but I had to blog this post. It's been
on my heart for awhile and ...there....
I have finally got the words out:)


"More is caught than taught" A popular saying that
recently is ringing more close to home!

I don't know about you, but in all my striving to put my whole
heart into my devotions and chatting about God to my children,
I still feel I fall short of exemplifying who Christ is to my
children.

They form a picture of who God is, by what I protray Him to be!

Pretty sobering thought.

Am I portraying a Lord they will one day be willing to forsake
all and follow?


How do I teach my children that God is loving, compassionate,
forgiving, merciful, longsuffering, patient, delivers righteous
judgement, rewarder of those that do good,a hater of sin.

I find that the best way I can possibly teach these attributes of God
so that they learn to know Him, is to live "Christ-like".
I will never be perfect, nor able to perfectly show forth these
attributes of God, but God enables me with power and wisdom to
give my children a glimspe of Him through me.

I can love them, and be loving and compassionate to others, and they
see God is love and full of compassion.

Example: (Mom takes dinner to the neighbor because she's been sick,
stops to speak to the teen girl in the back of the church and
encourages her even though she's different, stays up to read to a
sick child, sings to the elderly, picks up the phone to let a
friend knows she cares and is praying for her.)

I tell them God forgives sin. I can forgive my children their
faults and not provoke them to anger. Restoring a relationship
with them, because that's what God does when He forgives.

Example: (Acknowledging my child is a sinner and forgive them
when they mess up, not bringing it up again, and letting them
know and feel their relationship is important to me. I encourage
them and help them do better and be stronger. And because of our
relationship, my loving-kindness, goodness and mercy to them draws
them to repent to restore our broken relationship.)

I tell them God will hear their cry and answer their prayer.

Example: by listening attentively to them even if I don't think it's
that important, and patiently answering their questions. Being aware
of their feelings and unspoken words so that I may attend to their
needs and answer accordingly. By this my children understand that
God IS there when we cry unto Him! It's no matter your age or your
ability, God will listen and answer.

I tell them God is longsuffering.

Example: by enduring the hardships or trials I go through with
prayer and faith, by loving and praying for the person who speaks
ill towards me, by bearing my burdens with a meek and quiet spirit.

I tell them Jesus is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Example: The friends they see me laugh with are the friends they also
see me cry and pray with. I am my children's friend. They are not
just little people I like to dress up or cows that need to be watered
or fed, they are growing and blooming into servants that God wishes to
perform His work in. I can be their friend at any age, that's how I can
build a close relationship with them...so that they can put their faith
and trust in me. "what a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and
griefs to bear"

I tell them God hates sin and judges the righteous.

Example: I am quick to rebuke sin and will not tolerate disobedience.
They understand that sin is sin...there is no grey area. It's black
or white. There are no white lies, lying period is a sin. They
understand there are always consequences for their sin. That they
must stand before their parents to give account for the wrong they've
done. So they see that God requires the same. I show them true
repentence by humbling myself even before my children and confessing
my wrong and asking their forgiveness when I've hurt them or committed
sin before them.

I tell them that God blesses the righteous and plentifully
rewardeth the upright.

Example: I offer praises to them when I see their faithfulness to their
hores and schoolwork, and good attitude. I reward their good works and
their upright behavior. I don't critize them to get them to do better
if I see they've given their best. Instead I praise them for their
effort and encourage them by doing so. They will take great delight
in pleasing me, and will seek to feel my pride and joy in them and
their good work!

So I wonder tonight if my actions are speaking louder than my words?
As I speak of the marvelous characteristics of Christ, am I revealing
a glimpse of these in my daily walk through life?

If I am cold, indifferent, unforgiving, gossipy, angry, bitter, selfish,
and uncharitable in my Christian walk day after day, I am telling
my kids that I really don't believe God is loving, kind, merciful,
forgiving, or longsuffering. To them I am a cantankerous, angry,
bitter woman whom they try to steer clear of lest they be yelled
at or humiliated in front of.

How I want them to know what the love of God feels like! What it feels
like to have your sins forgiven, cast into the deepest sea, removed
as far as from the east is to the west! How it feels to have a prayer
answered and a need met! To have a friend like Jesus that is near you
in your darkest hours of life...to know that HE is listening! I want
them to fear a HOLY God who cannot look upon their sin, and they MUST
repent and return to the Lord...and find the mercies and loving
kindnesses of Him.

I hope they find the joy and peace of serving the Lord more
rewarding than fulfilling their dreams and amibitions in the world!

I was pondering the severity of this thought: I only have them
ONCE...I cannot do it again...if I should fail!

I know there is not a parent out there that has it all down pact...the
answers to all our questions.

But if I should be successful at anything as a mom, I pray
that I can paint a clear picture of who God is to my children.

Hearts

Only fear the Lord and serve him in truth with all your heart:
for consider how great things he hath done for you.
I Sam. 12:24

Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature;
because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth;
for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh
on the heart. I Sam. 16:7

Lately, I've been talking to my children about these verses.
About their heart. About their attitude. They are all doing
daily chores, singing specials in church, serving guests at the
house, ect. but why are they doing these things? What is the
condition of their heart when they are washing dishes, folding
their clothes, singing at church, at home?

Is it out of gratefulness as the verse above mentions the
great things God's done for us? Is it with a cheerful and
thankful heart?

Do we serve with ALL our heart as the verse says.

It's not necessarily about them obeying and doing what they
were asked to do, but was their heart in it? Did they serve
with an attitude of joy. Loving one another as ourselves is
a huge part of serving one another with a thankful heart full of joy!

I want my kids to learn the importance of commiting their hearts
to service not just their hands or their voices. God's more
interested in what's in your heart than what your service is.
God's not interested in your trophies or ribbons, he longs to
find compassion, faithfulness, joy, and contentment in our hearts in
service to Him. Makes no difference what someone says or does,
because HE knows the thoughts and intents of our heart.

In thinking of the heart issue, I recently talked to a friend
who is going through a difficult time. We at some point or time
in our christian life have walked our own way instead of God's.
In our flesh, we struggle to grab ahold of God by diving into
service, church activities, prayer and devotions, ect. Which are
all good, but I'm reminded of God's Words, "to obey is better than
sacrifice" God is looking at our heart!

Are we contrite and humble before HIM, willing to obey and submit
that which took us away from his fellowship? Are the changes we
make, the service we do, to convince those around us we're right
with God?

God doesn't need sacrifices, or paybacks for your disobedience or
selfishness, He just needs YOU! You're whole heart! God's Word says,
"The Lord is nigh them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such
as be of a contrite spirit." God can restore such a heart!

I hope my children grasp the important truth of giving their
whole heart to God BEFORE they do service for anything or
anyone. I like to play gospel music while we're doing chores
or working, they sing along and the words remind us what our
service is all about and to whom it's for! They need to know
not just what to do, but WHY, HOW and for WHOM we are doing
these things!

I ask the Lord to remove any worthless affection, motive, or
attitude from my heart, so that I may serve with a heart that
glorifies Him. :)