Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Friends

Okay...{I'm in a slump right now...I don't want to talk...I don't want to see people}. There's always expectations when, you know, when you're around people. You smile and laugh when there's no feeling there, but that's what you do. I'm really not being rude...that's not me. I think it's pure exhaustion, lack of sleep, finals in two classes due in less than four weeks, holidays coming up and feeling like you're being pulled in a million different directions.


I'm realizing when you put yourself out there to volunteer ect, you inherit a ton of responsibility. I'm not so good at saying NO...I will have a gajillion things to do on my plate and I will say YES! Because I just want people to know I care...and I'm one of those people they can rely on and will help them if they need it.


Recently though, there is this "friend" who ONLY calls, talks, drops by ect...when they need me to run them around town, babysit, borrow, ect. I get chills now when I see the number pop up on caller ID...this literal sense of dread comes over me, because I'm worried what they'll ask me to do now. This is so not me...to be like this...I LOVE helping people, in fact, I usually volunteer myself to do just about anything is I feel there is a need somewhere, and I'm disappointed when I can't help someone. So this scenario is something out of the ordinary and I'm not so sure how to deal with it or the person.


I recently removed about 200 people from my facebook! I was going to delete my account and realized that their are people on my friend's list I truly care about and want to stay in touch with them. When you've moved around the country as much as we have, it's hard to stay in touch with those kindred spirits you've met in your journeys. These are people I KNOW I will carry with me throughout my life, no matter where I go. They are special and they impacted my life somehow someway...maybe even changed your life. Do you have people in your life like that??? You don't forget them. And perhaps I should make sure I tell them how special they are!

So back to deleting friends...I really only removed any negative energy that continually surfaced on my page. And then there is this one-sided friendship phenomenon, where YOU are the one who makes all the phone calls, emails, texts, comments, ect. Basically, they wouldn't even exist in your life if you didn't like to keep tabs on them so much. I have someone very dear to me, that recently in the last two years ceases to exist unless I call, write, ect. I don't understand. Do friends "break-up"? Shouldn't they let you know first ...maybe send a dear jon letter to you? Just wondering....how is it a friendship if it's only ever one-sided. What do you think?

I like to think of frienship as peaceful, harmonious, joy, happiness, sharing, loving, and caring. If your mood cannot form these expressions or thoughts when you think of a person, why waste your time, why struggle in that relationship, it's not meant to be, it drags you down, it causes stress, it's not good for your body mentally, spiritually, or physically.

"Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." Proverbs 22:24 KJV
I've learned that surrounding yourself with people who love and live freely, make the sun shine brighter, the trials easier to bear, and the joys more abundant! I hope my friends can say I'm a true friend, and I hope more importantly they know I really care about them and I will always wish love, peace, and joy in their life.

"A friend loveth at all times..." Proverbs 17:17 kjv

Goodnight~ Aubrey





8 comments:

Parchey Family said...

Aubrey,

I go through periods of time like this myself. When I do not really want to see or talk to people. And I have wondered sometimes if you can break-up with a friend. As we get older and wiser friendships that were once important start to sometime become a thorn in your side. Thanks for your sharing your thoughts. Angie

Perspective said...

I'm sorry you're in a slump. You are a great person and a WONDERFUL (tehee hee) friend. I have experienced some friendships that you have written about in your blog. The way I see it maybe we jsut have friends through certain times in our lives because there is a purpose for them then and once that certain time passes we go on better off for having that friend and able to share something from that friendship with somebody else who needs it. Just a thought. Goodnight good friend (and amazing sister (inlaw))

LeAnn said...

Hey girl,
Go easy on yourself, we all have those times when we aren't sure we want to see people ever again. For me, those times usually come after a long spell of saying "YES" when sometimes "NO" would have been wisdom. I, too, have a hard time saying "NO".
At the same time, I think I really am a bad friend. I forget to call people that I really care about, and always seem to end up thinking about them very late at night or super early in the morning (or in the middle of the night when I am nursing a baby) :-) Sigh! Note to self "Be a better friend". :-)
I too feel like a lot of people come in and out of my life, in some ways I have learned to except this as a fact of life but other times it bothers me and I wonder why it is this way. Nuff, said.

HOPE said...

I don't know what I would do WITHOUT my "FRIEND" Aubrey...my own daughter!

Your daily phone calls (and mine) make each day no matter how gloomy as if the SUN is shining.

I for one...am a friend to have for LIFE. I cherish every REAL friend that I've had and when they are out of my life...a void exist. I think upon them still..and wonder how they are..I remember their value in my life.

Always remember Aubrey...that you touched someone's life..made an impression...and even if they seem to forget you. They haven't.

Besides..you are too SPECIAL to forget.

I love you very much...
MOM

Jessica said...

Hey you, I know exactly where you are coming from and I am right beside you! Somedays I don't want to see or talk to anyone myself. I also think it is very hard to have those "friends" who are only around when they need something from you. Sometimes I just let them go, the season of our friendship has ended at least for now! I trust the Lord will keep you connected to those you should be connected too and not to those who you should not be. I also sometimes feel like my own life is so busy I don't reach out to my friends as often as I should, but you should know you are a great friend and a huge blessing to many. Hugs to you.

Loree said...

Hi. I hopped over from Agnes's blog. I just wanted to say that we all go through what you are going through right now. I think some people may take advantage of our friendship but true friends will always be there for each other. I live on a very small island but there were friends I had not seen since we left school. Facebook helped us get back in touch and renew friendships. The strange thing is that with some of these girls it felt like we just picked up where we had left off - like we had met just yesterday and not after 20 years. And I want those friends in my life forever. Phew, don't worry, I don't always ramble on for so long :)

natural selection said...

Everything in life is cyclical. We move from one cycle to the next.
Get the most richness out of life possible from each cycle. I do not mean on a "material" level..
Eventually this cycle is broken and we move on to the next one..some come with us and some do not. I'm sure I just read about whom you decided to bring with you.
It sounds to me you have done the right thing.

Glad you liked the Brisket!

Casandra said...

Sometimes it just happens, one person's life takes a turn to where they don't have the resources to invest in a relationship.
Then there are lopsided friendships where you are expected to constantly give with out reciprocity. Those type are very wearing and soon you find yourself doing things out of obligation guilt etc.instead of love and free will. I have had a lot of experience with those:(.
Boundaries, a book by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend was an eye opener to deciding the difference and putting my foot down and saying no where needed. If you can find the book, it is a great read.