The last month I think I've had company over every night/day. I love hosting people and sharing my world with others....it's been especially comforting to me with my hubby gone. However, the rushing, preparing, caring for others, running around grabbing this and that and always on the go, as pretty much exhausted me and I found myself longing for solitude and a few moments to discover self...and her thoughts. I needed to just "be still" tonight...and ponder life and where it is going and organize the chaos in my brain.
I've been guilty of using of using things and people to fill the void I've felt with my soldier being gone. I just didn't want to think, feel, focus.....I just wanted life to blur a little and then BAM...he would be home!
I felt the presence of the Lord Sunday evening....I felt rejuvenated in my soul and spirit and it has deeply embolded me to take some steps back and focus on what is most important in my world....and to work on some things that needed to be sharpened and tuned.
As hard as it is sometimes....it's needful to "examine ourselves" and see where we stand with God, with our family, with ourselves. The distractions are out there...taking us in a million different directions and before we know it we've lost sight of what we're supposed to be doing and what our real purpose is.
I have a tendency to want to patch up things myself, make things happen my way, have a hurry up and wait perspective.....instead of waiting on God. Yesterday amid my quiet moments I realized that I truly needed to exercise my faith in God and let Him handle the "what-if's", the worries, the fears....all these "things" will hold me back from truly living joyfully.
I found myself singing this song today:
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Funny how God puts a verse or tune in your head that speaks to you exactly what you need to hear at the time you need it!